Tag Archives: comedy

in praise of sleep

I’ve just finished At Swim-Two-Birds by Flann O’Brien. Don’t let the incomprehensible title put you off. It contains vast stores of wisdom:

What is wrong with…most people…is that they do not spend sufficient time in bed.

I find nothing to disagree with in the above.

When a man sleeps, he is steeped and lost in a limp toneless happiness: awake he is restless, tortured by his body and the illusion of existence.

Flippin torturous body.

Why have men spent centuries seeking to overcome the awakened body?

YES. Forget this waste of thinking power, philosophers.

Put it to sleep, that is a better way. Let it serve only to turn the sleeping soul over, to change the blood-stream and thus make possible a deeper and more refined sleep…

In fact, let us all become cats:

cat pandaI admit he looks more like a panda in this photo, but it’s the same principle.

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Filed under the human condition

abraham lincoln drumming for bon jovi, and a pygmy goat

A 19-year-old West Virginia man claimed he was high on bath salts when he stabbed his neighbor’s pygmy goat while wearing women’s underwear.

The best thing about drugs that have the names of everyday items is that you get ridiculous sentences like that one.

Robb called a doctor to ask about the effects of bath salts. “I might as well have said I was Abraham Lincoln and I was drumming for Bon Jovi,” he laments.

No, wait, the best thing about drugs that have the names of everyday items is pretending that they’re referring to the item itself, not the drug. Who knew pink smelly stuff that makes your bath bubble could also make you stab goats?
relaxing, therapeutic and stabby
It was while reading the excellent Pie Chart Friday: the Addition Edition that I was reminded of the article I read in June, fetchingly titled BATH SALTS: DEEP IN THE HEART OF AMERICA’S NEW DRUG NIGHTMARE. Well, yippee.

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Filed under things i've seen

all jews have beards. even the ladies!

MOAR RACISM? Oh go on, it’s funny. I mean, it’s funny to laugh at people who are racist, because they are hilariously old-fashioned, amirite?

Last Friday I was talking about readers of a certain newspaper being Old Fascists. And of course, we’d all like some variety in blog posts. But today I found two articles I was going to present for your amusement mention at some point, and that point is now. So, yay racism and prejudice!

Miming a hook nose to refer to Jewish people is also now deemed unacceptable by signers, who have replaced the old sign with one involving a hand resting against a chin and making a short movement down, in the shape of a beard.

Because all Jews have beards? Even the ladies?

not a lady, this one

a beard, wearing a jewish man, yesterday

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Filed under things that make me laugh

5 things you didn’t know about rape

well what kind of image did you think i was gonna use? (click to embiggen)

A picture that has nothing to do with rape.

1. You can’t get pregnant from rape. No, it’s true, the Missouri Republican representative said it.

2. Rape can be legitimate. That’s the kind of rape you don’t get pregnant from.

3. Rape jokes are, like, totes on trend right now.

4. There is a show called Sex Tourist by Chris Dangerfield, which has a flyer you can take to an escort agency for £10 off. (Not strictly rape-related, I know.)

5. ‘With the death of feminism in mainstream culture more and more people are prepared to put up with [jokes about rape and domestic violence].’ – Nick Page

So after I talked about how not to be funny, it seems that there are a lot of rape jokes out there. A lot.  The Guardian reckons that at the Edinburgh Fringe, you can hear 20 comedians telling 20 rape jokes in one night, should you so desire. And I’d like to think that Todd ‘Legitimate Rape’ Akin was just jumping on board the rapey stabby jokes bandwagon, but if he’s being ironic he’s doing it so well that no one’s noticed.

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Filed under lists of things

when is a joke not a joke?

Daniel Tosh
I’m coming down on the side of: he was wrong, and it’s not funny.

Usually I’d sit on the fence in this kind of thing. There’s always two sides to each argument anyway, and who are we to say definitively what’s funny and what isn’t?

The background, in case you missed the story, is this: A comedian called Daniel Tosh declared during his routine that rape jokes are funny. A female audience member shouted, ‘Actually, rape jokes are never funny!’ Allegedly, Tosh paused for a moment, then replied,

‘Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her…’

Now in general, I tend to think that anything can be made into a joke. You know, I laughed a lot at the Brass Eye ‘Paedophile Special’. And fence-sitting is more comfortable than it looks.

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Filed under things that make me laugh