the 8 things i wish i hadn’t done in 2012

WHAT IS UP. It is my last blog post of 2012, that is what is up.

As I lay awake last night pondering what to blog about, I fell asleep. Here, therefore, is a badly-planned, hastily-cobbled-together blog post. Same as normal, you say? Oh, pipe down. Just read it.

In no particular order, then, here are 8 things I wish I hadn’t done in the twelvemonth which will shortly be hanging up its shoes for the last time. Perhaps I could take this as a sort of reverse New Year’s resolutions list?

one Started a blog in August with no clear idea of what I was going to blog about, only that I should post regularly.

With the result that some of my posts were a bit rambly and..well, just not very popular. Kind of like the kid in glasses who dreads the playground because he always gets bullied. Since you ask, WordPress stats indicate that this was my least popular post. Go on, click it. Make it feel better. If only for a day.

I didn’t actually think that post was that bad. Obviously you, my loyal readers, did. That kind of emotional damage is scarring. Therapy will be expensive. Wait..I don’t know where I’m going with this.

YOU KNOWS ITtwo Spent more hours on Facebook and Twitter than I care to calculate. I am not calculating them. End of. Let’s move on.

three Eaten a lot (a LOT) of dried figs.

More than any reasonable person should. But – did you catch that? I mentioned a reasonable person. You may draw your own conclusions. On the plus side, I did discover exactly how many dried figs I can eat in a day before I get seriously ill – like, hospitalisable ill.

four Failed to think of anything profound to say about momentous events happening in the world around me, and tried to gloss over this with attempts at humour:

Apparently there has been something happening in some country somewhere that involves Instagram, some people kissing babies, and a deluge of new hashtags.

Did you guess it from those clues? Did you? Did you? Yeah..that was the time I didn’t blog about the US election. See what I did there? I did blog about it, but I didn’t. I’m tricksy. Like a hobbitses. And strange stuff fills my head:

mm pie

five Moved house, and complained about it a LOT.

It’s not the moving that I regret, it’s the fact that I moaned constantly (CONSTANTLY) (CONSTANTLY) (CONSTANTLY) (no, that repetition is not a typo) during the process at everyone who was willing to listen, and plenty who weren’t. Generally, I was bratty and awful. To everyone who not only put up with this but also a) didn’t hate me as a result, b) offered support (empty boxes and cups of tea etc); you are the awesome. FACT.

Eff why eye, since you ask, no I do not yet have a new home to live in. I ranted about my house search at a time when I was fairly sure said search would be over soon. That was..a while ago. Still, hope springs eternal, because it is bloody stupid knows that the perfect place is out there. I’ll keep you posted, but please don’t hold your breath or you’ll die. kthxbai

six Started this post with a random number of things to write about, and no idea what those things would be.

Got to number six and was ambushed by a cat who decided that what I really wanted more than anything was for him to jump on my lap, yawn extravagantly in my face, and go to sleep in a position which means that I am now typing with one hand. It is taking forevaaaaaah. I am henceforth abandoning this list.

But think on this, people.

Many tragedies have filled our thoughts this year. It happens every year. Don’t go into 2013 expecting there to be no tears. Instead, think about the atmosphere in Europe at Christmas 1939. A terrible war had just started, and fear was everywhere. At that stage, no one realised the war would last another six years. But when King George VI of England broadcast a radio message to his people, he quoted a poem which I’ve found to be applicable in every stage of life. Whatever you’ve gone through or are going through, awesome or evil times, listen to this:

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”

And he replied:

“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”

– The Gate of the Year, Minnie Louise Haskins

BOOOOOM. I love you all. So, on that note, go ye forth and have very happy New Years, with or without snoring cats.


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5 responses to “the 8 things i wish i hadn’t done in 2012

  1. lizzieme

    i love hobbitses 🙂

  2. Awesome post! Love the misdirection in the title and the twist in the end. Very Shyamalan-like. (I had to phonetically say that out loud 5 times before I typed it 😐 )

    In response to your awesome pie chart: Shark Boy. There was a movie about him and his gal pal Lava Girl. IMDB that shizz.

    Also: You and your cat should go to couples Therapy. He clearly doesn’t respect your boundaries. Juss’ saying…

  3. Remember, the stats don’t tell you 100% of the truth…it is random when you see or read a post, and lots of people don’t have a WordPress account, or don’t know how it works. If it is on the Internet, it is possible, that one day, someone will read it, and like it, but you will never know…

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